Facets of a Diamond

     My winter self portraits revolved around the theme of a diamond. Diamonds are known for having many sides along with being created under extreme pressure. The theme relates to the human personality and how I believe that each individual has different sides to their single personality. For many years I’ve done different self portraits involving many different themes, costumes, makeup, colors, and visual effects. What most people don’t realize is that there is an important meaning behind everything that goes into the photo shoot. What I will also say is that my strongest work comes through during the most challenging times of my life.

    Art, photography, and the ability to create, has always been my outlet. It was and always will be my way of turning a negative situation into a positive. I always like to inform people that my self portraits aren’t just about getting dressed up, putting on a costume, and going through the hair and makeup process. The self portraits serve as a reminder of who I am, how strong I am, how strong I can be, and a reminder of what I am capable of.

    The biggest challenge in life is having the strength to walk away from the things and people that hurt us the most. We have to remind ourselves to forgive as soon as possible. We have to forgive for ourselves so that we can move on with your lives. I agree with forgiving but I don’t agree when people say forgive and forget. The moment you forget is the moment you are back on a path to repeating the situation. With all honesty the people that want you to forget are normally the ones who are guilty. When it comes to the idea of “letting go of a situation”, I don’t think it necessarily means forgetting. On the other side of that, just because you remember details of a situation doesn’t mean that it is by choice or that you are holding on to the past.

    There are specific moments in time that shape who we are. I also believe the most defining moments in life tend to happen during our childhood and teenage years and those moments shape who we are as adults. A lot of things that we go through in life aren’t by choice, those things are out of our control but we do have a choice on how it’s going to affect us now and in the future. A lot of times when we go through tough situations, this is relating to painful situations, many of us process it in different ways.

    In my opinion, dealing with pain comes down to two sides. There is a side of people who deal with pain in a positive way and those who deal with it in a negative way. As an artist, I am one of those people who deal with negative situation by creating something new. I turn a negative situation into a positive by taking negative emotions and creating a costume, working with visual effects, or just by going out and taking pictures. Although photography is my focus, I consider art as a whole to be my outlet.

    As I think about how I deal with my situations, I also think about how others deal with their pain and tough situations. I can be honest and say that I don’t handle every single situation in a 100% positive way. There are times when taking the high road isn’t enough. There are moments when I just take the time to treat people exactly how they treat me, and they never like it.

    Not everyone automatically chooses the positive way in dealing with problems. There are others who turn to drinking, drugs, and suicide. Not everyone is aware of the other options that they have. I’m not writing this in any kind of way to say that am stronger or better than someone. I’m writing this to say that I am strong enough for me and stronger than who I was the day before. I’m writing this to say that I am better than the negative comments that I hear from those who only deal with their pain by attempting to tear down other people. I have to write this in response to those who throw stones and hide their hands. I’m referring to those who do evil things and point blame at others while pretending to be innocent victims.

    Art is how I deal with those type of situations and those type of people. I’ve learned a long time ago that when people want to bad mouth you even when you haven’t done anything wrong. The best thing to do is move on with your life, let time reveal the truth and let your work speak for itself. 

    But back to my most recent self portrait project. “ Facets of a Diamond” includes a total of six photos ranging from normal and happy to dark fantasy. Regardless of the costumes, visual effects, vampirism, and humanism, who I am and what I look like in each of the photos represents a part of who I am.

    For humans in general, there is good and bad in all of us and there will always be happy and sad moments. We live in a society that teaches us to always put the happy and nice moments on display but be sure to hide everything else. Too many people are in competition with each other on who has the happiest and most perfect life. This is where I am different from most people. I’m not saying put all of your personal problems on display, but I do say be honest about who you are. I take all of that and I put it into my work the way any artist would.

    The mood and personality traits that you see in the photos are a combination of who I really am as a person blended with the type of person that people say I am or assume that I am.

Embrace the goofy

    What most people don’t notice is that I am a very goofy person and friendly person behind the scenes. I have no interest in being perfect. I have no interest in hiding my intelligence just for insecure people to feel better about themselves. This photo shows me at my happiest. This shows self love and is my way of saying, “Yeah my hair is crazy, I’m a nerd, I’m goofy, I’m smart, and I have fun doing what I do. I’m happy to be me no matter what.”

    The story behind this image originated in middle school. It was a regular thing for me to always deal with being criticized for not looking a certain way or acting a certain way. Middle school is also the time of life when we become more self-conscious and along with that came the concern for what others think. So I did what the average person would do, I tried to be like everybody else instead of being myself. What I also realized later in life is that people are going to talk about you no matter what you do. So stop worrying about what others think and just be yourself.

 Embrace the calm exterior

    This is the side of me that most people see everyday. You won’t see or hear me talk unless it is absolutely necessary because majority of the time I’m being very observant of the people and things around me. I’m not mean but I’m not welcoming either until I learn more about you. This is the side of me that takes time to figure a person out before I take that step in allowing them to get to know who I am. So this side of who I am falls right in the middle as being calm and reserved.

“ So yes I’m listening when you speak but I am also watching to see if your actions align with what you say.”

             

Embrace being different

    Being the vampire in my images has become a major part of who I am today. The part of me that died but came back as someone who is the complete opposite of who I was before. This image shows me as someone who is different and will always be different but also has a side that wants to live a normal life. In a case like this, it is obvious that a “normal life” wasn’t meant for someone like me. It is so natural for the average human to judge, criticize, and cast out anything that is not like them. Unfortunately, this photo represents the side of me that will never be normal but always struggles with the desire to have that ‘normal life”. In many ways this side of me has the experience in dealing with the issue of a “witch hunt”. When I bring up that idea what I mean is that I have more than enough experience in dealing with people who will bad mouth me and accuse me of things that I have never done. All because it is easy to blame the person who is different from everyone else. There is the sad fact that most people will believe lies and never accept the truth. For most people It’s easier to play along and be like everyone else than to stand out and be different. It’s easier to keep quiet rather than speak out on what you disagree with and strongly believe. And for what? The approval of selfish humans? “If they are going to judge, criticize, and reject me no matter what, then I might as well speak the truth. I might as well be myself no matter what.”

 Embrace the phoenix

    This is the most confident and strongest side of who I am. It relates to the legend of the phoenix and how one never truly dies but always comes back stronger and smarter than they were before. This is how I embrace every part of who I am. Intelligence, strength, independence, uniqueness, sexuality, power, and confidence. Although I may appear to be some kind of villain I still have the ability to love and care for others especially those who are experiencing things that I’ve gone through. This is also the part of me that takes all of the negative comments and convert them into a positive image. “The truly innocent people aren’t scared of me. Those who have a problem with me are the ones trying to cover things up.”

 Embrace the dark side

    This photo doesn’t mean I choose to be evil but it does answer the question(s) related to What does the darkest part of who I am look like? What does a selfish person look like? Today most people want to pretend as if their dark side or negative side doesn’t exist. In reality it is a part of all of us but there is also something called self control. This side of who I am doesn't come out often but it does exist just as much as the other parts of who I am. Everyone has a limit to how much negativity they can take. But just take a moment and ask yourself, what happens when you lose the self control, your heart, and your ability to care for someone else? In other words what’s left after the humanity runs out? “ The difference between me and you is that I don’t pretend to be innocent. Evil or not, I’m upfront about who I am.”

Embrace the balance

This photo doesn’t represent purity or innocence. Although it is the brightest photo in the series. The all white represents clarity and a sense of peace within yourself. This is the side of me that will always work to maintain a balance and happiness with life no matter what is going on. This is an image of understanding and accepting every part of who I am and knowing that it was never meant for me to be like everyone else around me. It was never meant for me to have what most people would consider a normal life. I’m not the type of person that can be placed in a box to conform to the everyday rules of society. I’m perfectly happy with being a complex person who isn’t understood and accepted by everyone. Trust me when I say you will tire yourself out with trying to place me in the right category. This photo also summarizes the entire series by saying regardless of what is thrown at us, we always have a choice in the type of person we want to be in life. Be the best part of who you are no matter what.


“ There are people who will treat you any kind of way with no concern for your feelings. But at the end of the day we are all responsible for our actions and we all have to face ourselves at some point in time.”





“ When you look in the mirror, be honest about who you are. A diamond is made up of many sides”

Credits

Photography

Jeffery Odyssey Photography: https://www.instagram.com/jodyssey_fashionphotos/






Photoshop brushes used in images

Tribal Brush, Snow Brush, Smoke Brush, Galaxy Brush can be found and downloaded for personal and commercial use at www.Brusheezy.com